bamfnopinions

thought$

• yesterday i was watching cnn and when no one else was looking anderson cooper winked at me i swear to god…

• the goods; the don ready story, is about as funny as an infant with cancer dying in your arms

if i looked for a job half as much as i skank alone in my room i would most likely be employed

shark week? more like shark weak!

Like most people I plan each year arround the arrival of Animal Planets Shark Week. But, throughout the years shark week has progressed very little, and now animal planet is even re-broadcasting shark specials from previous Shark Weeks. Shark Week needs some fresh material. Albeit there is only so much infromation that can be shared about these impecable predators of the blue by our friends at animal planet, I say the time for change has come. Animal Planet has shown us their willingness to conform to the nuances of television with such reality programs as Whale Wars and Groomer Has It. So, I propose this, an annual television event that in its nature will demand the attention of the masses. A week long reality series entitled Swiming With Sharks. The premise, 8 contestants swim a short distance through a salt water pool that contains a 21 foot female great white shark named Cassie everyday for a week for a chance at $10,000,000. Heres the catch, each contestant must have a bloody goat leg tied to themself, and the shark will be given 65 hits of acid, If my calculations are corrected at the end of the Shark Week there will be one survivor who will win the $10,000,000 in cash (i mean 10,000,000 Petco gift certificate store credits a.k.a Pet Points, equalling roughly $120) and finally quinching my blood thirst. Nuns would even watch that shit. I mean its a better than fags pickin eye boogers of mini-poodles or hippies using billion dollar boats to shoot water canons at probably already wet japanese whale hunters. Swiming with Sharks, now i think thats something we can all sink our teeth into

interesting stuff n’ horrible jokes

Horrible Jokes

• two silk worms had a race, they ended up in a tie.

• two hats are chillin’ on a hat rack, one says to the other “you stay here, I’ll go on a head.”

• the short fortune teller escaped from jail, he was a small medium at large.

AAAAnd on that note

Interesting Stuff

• According to my favorite revisionist historian Michael A. Hoffman II, from 1609 until the early 1800s, two thirds of all the White colonists who came to the New World came as slaves. (I’m gonna turn my 40 acres into a driving range!)

• in 1752 Benjamin Franklin discovered electricty, or did he?